Tuesday, March 13, 2012


I've been feeling like this all week (really since the middle of last week) and I was going to try to ride it out & see if my gloomy feeling would go away, but it hasn't. So what better way then to vent on here and express my feelings to my fellow bloggers?

I'm in a lull. I haven't lost more than a loss of .2 or .6 here and there for the past month AND I've been struggling with my physical activity ever since this shin splint decided to make it's way into my life. I've been eating "clean" other than this weekend, which really wasn't that bad. We went out to dinner with two other couples on Saturday and I got a grilled chicken breast sandwich with a side of sweet potato fries. Now I know that those aren't healthy, but come on. Was it worth it? Not at all. Should I have done the impulse order of that? Absolutely not. But, I did it, and I should move on, learn from it, and not repeat in the future.

I am having the feeling of "it's just not fair." Other people, it feels like most people, eat horrible. Fried this, fried that, booze, etc. I have to budget into my calories light beer, or even a grilled chicken breast restaurant style. I have to work my butt at the gym just to maintain the weight I am. Well, I want to loose 20-30 more lbs. Really, 30, but I am feeling so darn discouraged that I feel like 20 is too much to wish for. But I can do it... right? I hope.

I've been pushing through this shin splint, even though I'm literally limping throughout the day. So today, I skipped the gym all together. I didn't run, do the elliptical, or lift weights. It's ok to take a day off, right? Well, probably not when I didn't go to the gym on Saturday or Sunday. Ugh.
Another thing I want to "vent"about is feeling like I'm slower than molases when I run and I have been catching myself thinking why even do it?
I have friends that run miles anywhere from 5.0-8.0 and faster. It's frustrating when I'm busting my butt to literally run at a 5.2-5.5 pace. Somehow on my birthday I ran about a 5.8-6.0 pace, but that was when I wasn't experiencing this darn shin splint. One of my friends texted tonight and she said she ran a 10 minute mile tonight. She just started running last week. I just feel..... discouraged! It's the only way to put it.
I really enjoy the quote of "no matter how slow you go, you're lapping the person on the couch" and that usually makes me feel better, but after hearing about my friend that just started running last week 10 minute mile tonight and seeing how others are running these long miles while it takes me fifty freakin' seven minutes to run 5 miles...... I am just down.

I know some people may say "it's ok you're having shin splints" or "at least you're running" or make some other excuse for me, but I just don't want anyone to feel sorry for me..... I just want to be better and continue on this road to a thinner and leaner me, but I feel myself slipping and I'm scared.
Really, I.. am.. scared!
I am in it for the long haul, but is what I have enough? I sure hope.

Sorry for the "pitty party," but when I originally set up this blog it was my intention to blog about my path to a healthier lifestyle, including the ups and downs. And this is definitely a down part of my journey. I feel like it wouldn't be fair to truly express my feelings and to sugar coat my journey. This is life. It is HARD. It SUCKS. It's just NOT FAIR. But, it is what it is, and I need to accept that.
I am usually very up beat and am proud of my accomplishments and look on the bright side of things, but I am really struggling with that mindset this week. Hopefully next post I'll have a more uplifting or lighter (no pun intended) blog post.


  1. I am not a runner, so I can only repeat what I hear others say, which you already know, so I'll not bother with running advice. LOL

    But we all have down times, me included for SURE, and I truly believe it's just part of the body transforming. Hang in there, breathe a lot, drink some extra water, maybe try a session of yoga while you heal?

    Also, find some fun way to break your negative thinking about yourself, like a pedicure or spray tan or whatever gets your motor running, LOL

    Hate to see you feeling sad, take care!! xo

  2. here is what I remember from when I was training all the time. You have to listen to your body if it hurts it is telling you to scale back.

    Don't let how fast other people run dictate how you run...you are running. Look at how far you have come.

    I too am in a down mood, not sure why...feeling very similar to you, it happens Amy...
    Not that it is fair but it is worth it! Yoga, swimming and low impact exercise could help with the shin. Scale back the running until you aren't limping, or you could end up with a stress fracture.
    You can and are doing this!!! I believe in you!

  3. I'd be happy if I could run 5 miles in 57 minutes! Some people are faster than you and you're faster than others. I am a slow runner and I used to be embarassed about it, but then I realized that the only person I need to be racing is myself. Don't compare yourself to other people. Our bodies are unique--no two of us are the same.

    I also wouldn't beat yourself up about eating a chicken breast and sweet potato fries on the weekend!! I've heard that eating foods that are a little different once in a while will help rev up our metabolism. It introduces our body to something new and kind of wakes it up.

    You're doing great! But I agree, if your body is hurting that bad, you might want to rest your legs. Try something with less impact until you feel better.

  4. I understand you all too well. We have to go through these low points or the good wouldn't seem so great. Losing weight is hard, running is hard, staying upbeat while trying to do both is hard. I agree that something like yoga might be better until your shin feels ok. Don't push it or you will end up in worse shape. I know we all want results now but it takes some time. I can't wait to get back into running and the one thing I dread is getting back to where I was before. (And that wasn't fast either!) It all comes with time. You are doing great though!

  5. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I want to have progress to show for my hard work, so when my weight stalls I get pissed off at myself. I secretly hate all my skinny friends who eat burgers every night and don't gain a damn pound, it's not fair. Usually I go back and look at my 'fat' pics and realize how far I have come, that helps :) It's really ok to take a little break from the gym to heal, when I sprained my ankle I couldn't workout for over a week. Have you been fitted for running shoes? Those are a must!! I have been running for a while and my goal was never to be fast, just to be able to finish a half marathon. And I did it, so what if someone can run a 10 minute mile, she's a freak of nature :) Don't get discouraged, everyone has their down weeks! In fact I've been having one this week too, so we can have our little pity parties together, ha ha!

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    2. Amy- Sorry to hear about your pain- but def can relate!!
      Some things to think about:

      -What shoes are you running in? You might need to switch them out? Try the running center if you havent yet!

      -Have you tried a foam roller or the stick? Even a massage might help loosen everything up. I use the foam roller every day and get a massage every month just as a precaution!

      -Definitely RICE- Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate. You can always up your swim miles if u need to decrease running. Dont get discouraged, you will be ok!

  6. Girl, don't feel discouraged.
    This is called a JOURNEY for a reason. There will be ups and downs.
    It's how you react to them that matters.

    PS- I'm a SLOW runner too. I run at about an 11-12 minute pace, so don't let that stop you. Hey, you're lapping everyone sitting on the couch! :)